THE LIFE OF GEORGIA PATZNER

Dear Georgia Patzner Family.

It is Monday, August 31. A little over a week has passed since we buried our mother – our grandmother, our great great grandmother. And today, more Patzner’s were in Claflin to bid farewell to Dottie Moran, another wonderful lady who like Georgia – Grandma – was a large influence on many people and families in the heartland of Kansas.

Like many of you – the last week has been a week of both remembering and thinking about Grandma. A part of us heard that voice that we needed to get on with our lives – but how do you do that when a women who had lived ninety four years of life made her departure.

For me, I came back to California and started to get back in to my life. For each of you – you went back to your work – your passions – your hobbies. You took care of other people in your life.

But I am sure that we all have had Mom – Georgia – Grandma in our thoughts.

I personally have promised myself to spend time thinking about Grandma in a small way – every day – at least up until September 21. I want to remember Grandma going forward on her birthday. The days leading to that day as well as every twenty first of September should be a way that we insure that the life – the soul – the passion of this lady never leaves us. We won’t forget the impact she made on generations of people –and at a minimum – all of the people in this picture.

Tonight – I was listening to a taped program of “Meet the Press” that aired last Sunday. As you have heard, in the last two weeks, the Kennedy family also lost important people in their family. Eunice Kennedy Shriver passed away on August 11 and Ted Kennedy passed away on August 25. The program had a personal interview with Maria Shriver about the loss of her uncle Ted and her “mummy” Eunice.

As I listened to Maria describe both her mother and uncle, I was struck by how much Grandma had similar principles and values of this famous Kennedy family. Oh sure, she never had the riches or fame or aristocracy of the Kennedy family. But very much like Ted and Eunice – she was our patriarch. She was the solid foundation of the family.

Let me share with you some wonderful words that Maria said about her mother and her Uncle Ted:

Maria Shriver
On Meet the Press
Sunday, August 30

DAVID GREGORY: What has it been like. Americans are watching your family. As the president said, this wasn’t unexpected. But it was dreaded. How is everybody been doing?

MARIA SHRIVER: I think people often said, it wasn’t a surprise. But I have just gone through two deaths in two weeks. And it is always a surprise. And it is always final. And it is always difficult. I think people grieve in their own way. And in our own time…he was a figure in our family that was larger than life figure in our family..he was a center in our family….. And he was someone you never expected to die. You just expected him to beat the odds.. to defy everybody’s expectations. And I think anybody who has been through cancer knows the ups and down… and so your hear one day it is bad and then it is good…. And you always hope that this person is going to beat the odds.

MARIA SHRIVER: My mother lived a life that had purpose. That had meaning. That has a mission. I remember my mother once said, “If you don’t have an idea –what do you have? Where is your idea?” she would always say to me. “What are you doing?” And I think both of these people (Ted Kennedy and Maria Shriver) has great ideas. And they fought their whole lives to make them reality. What was wonderful about Mummy and Teddy is the duration of their fight. I think we live in a society today that is all about instant gratification… you fight for something and you expect to get it in a week. Both mummy and teddy fought their entire lives. I think that both of them are incredible testaments to how long it takes – how hard it takes to accomplish something. And I think we have lost sight of that. Whether it be journalism or politics. People expect you to be elected president and solve all the world problems.

DAVID GREGORY: Ted Kennedy (did the speech at the Democratic Convention and then) had his goodbye and it was a long goodbye. But he had his next year. What was the last year like for him?

MARIA SHRIVER: Watching this final year was beautiful. I think there has been a lot of things written about Teddy over the years. And it hasn’t all been complimentary. For someone to have that kind of life come at you….it was a very powerful thing that very few people ever experience. I think it was a blessing for Teddy. He was able to see that his life was appreciated. That his life was valued. That people understood why he had stayed in the fight. And he accepted the love. I think it is so hard to accept the love. He let it come at him. And I think that was so beautiful. He got to live. He was able to see how people appreciate him. And that people came up and thanked him. He could feel that kind of gratitude.

DAVID GREGORY: He got to experience something that his brothers didn’t – how people felt about him.

MARIA SHRIVER: I think that is another lesson in all of this. I am a big believer that people rarely know how people feel about them in their life. . We run around in our lives all the time – and we forget to stop and tell people how important they are. And how greatful we are.

I think Ted Kennedy was an introspective man. He looked at his life. And he accepted his life as his own. He accepted his triumphs. And his weaknesses. And that is a great sign of strength in any human being – that they can accept their whole life. He lived a life that his parents would have been proud of. He worked very hard, particularly his mother, to make her proud of him. This was a man who took the concept of family to a whole other level.

END OF INTERVIEW

As I listened to Maria Shriver talk about the death of her mother and uncle, I was struck by the idea that she is grieving just as much as we are grieving. And she is loving as much as we are loving.

Grandma was our “Eunice and Ted.” She was the women who was solid as a rock. She seldom talked about her own emotions. She seldom was angry. And she always looked for the positive side of what was happening in her life.

She didn’t need much money. She was content in the simple things in life – and would always opt to spend her money on experiences rather than things.

I would suspect that Ted Kennedy in his early years didn’t give many hugs or kisses. But he was always there. Just like Grandma was always there for many of us. As grandkids, she would often drive to wherever we lived just to see us – to attend a play or sporting event or wedding. She wouldn’t miss those days. It was her way of being proud – of showing how she cared.

In the later days – kisses and hugs became more important. I think it started some time after her 80th birthday. She mellowed. She showed more of her emotion. And she would treasure both that hello kiss and that goodbye kiss. And if she had the chance, she would always get in a second hug if possible.

Perhaps a bit unlike Eunice, in the quote above, Grandma did not have grandiose ideas. I think her “life” was her idea. Like Ted Kennedy, she lived a life that I think would have made her parents proud. Perhaps her father was initially hoping Grandma would become a nun, but I think that she was meant to be a part of a life that was just a little beyond what she could even give as a nun. She was a seasoned person – and because she chose not to be a nun – we all were born – thrived and are now making our own contribution. On her behalf.

Grandmas life “showed” her principles. She didn’t have to say them outloud. She lived a life of frugality – not stinginess – but one in which she only spent what was necessary – to both avoid waste and to spend it on things that were more important. Like experiences. And travel. And her kids. And grandkids.

Can you imagine how much money over time, she spent on yarn? And plastic hangers?

Grandma loved Grandpa very much. That was apparent in her discussions about “Daddy” as she referred to Joe Sr. / Grandpa. She would have loved to have had him with her for the rest of her life. But it wasn’t mean to be.

And when he passed on – she didn’t spend months or even years mourning – at least that she told us. Instead, like the great work ethic she was raised in, she moved on and continued to reinvent and live her life to the fullest.

I loved the quote above about the final year of Ted Kennedy. People had the time to spend with him to appreciate him and to say they loved him. I think that was a blessing that many of us had in the final years and months and days with Grandma. We were lucky to have had so much time – so many minutes and hours with her – to celebrate her life and to insure she knew that she was so loved.

I am convinced she knew.

ONE OF MY BELIEFS in life is that people never die – unless we let them. If we continue to think about – reflect upon – and learn from the life of George Patzner – then she won’t really die. Her body may be gone – but she will live on.

But we have to consciously think about what we have learned from her.

For example – I am sure that Grandma died knowing she was loved. We told her so – in the last years – and in the last days. But as a real life lesson, are you sure that all of the important people in your life right now – have been TOLD that you love them? As Maria Shriver said above, “Does everyone in your life know how greatful you are of them?”

I think that Grandma also lived her life with a “positive” and “what is possible” aspect in her life. She rarely complained. She just got on with her life. But how about for each of us? Do we spend little time also on what isn’t working – and instead – live our lives with the passion and exuberance that Grandma would have wanted us?

While we have our minds and memories – are we taking full advantage of these years? You do know that Grandma would have choice words for us if she could see how some of us might be squandering these wonderful “mindful” years that we still possess.

I have created a website to capture and commemorate the life of Georgia Patzner. Over the next three weeks, I, along with other family members, will post pictures and thoughts about Georgia.

http://georgiapatzner.blogspot.com/

For family and close friends of George – please join me over the next 3 weeks to think about – talk about – and reflect upon the life of Georgia. Writing may not come as easy to some. I would ask you to just post something about your memories or thoughts. You can send it to me – and I will post it on the blog. You can also share a picture. Or an idea. Or a prayer.

Rick Von Feldt
Grandson

COMMENT / FEEDBACK from Diane Palmer, Granddaughter of Georgia:

Rick- Great idea! I have not let a day go by since Grandma's passing that I haven't thought about her and thought about different situations in my own everyday encounters in life and wondered how she would have reacted, responded or handled certain things. She always had a calming and easy way about her and hardly ever got upset, mad, etc. She would just "roll with it" and deal things as they came, never really worried about anything or at least let it show.

I too felt similarities when watching some of the coverage of Ted Kennedy's death. I guess some of it was that Grandma's passing was so fresh in my mind, but he was such a strong person and that is how I always looked at Grandma and will always remember her as. I am finding that each day that goes by I am accepting her death a little more and feel like the "healing" process is starting to occur, but I know that for the rest of my life I will think of her often and try to possess some of the great traits that Grandma showed us all the years of my life.

I am looking forward to viewing Grandma's tribute and appreciate everything you have done to make it happen.

Take care and keep in touch.

Love,
Diane